see, on some level i think i believed this girl i had been
sleeping with, this girl i had been spending time with and
I could in the end turn out to be something more.
but its not, and last night while we were kissing, and
holding each other she kept talking about how she really
liked me, she said te quiero. me gustas mucho, mucho. she
was telling me how she can't get me out of her head, how
she always wants to see me, how she really really cares
about me. and then suddenly, ';pero hay algo que me
perturba...';
she said but there is something that perturbs me... and i
suddenly knew what she was going to say.
you see, when i started with Rosario, we were just
spending time, i had no intentions of getting serious with
her. i just wanted to feel close to her, and feel loved by
someone. and to enjoy whatever came, especially after the
mess with Mary. but little by little, day by day, Mary was
just fading.
then last night...
';me gustas mucho, mucho norita, mi corazon, mi norita, te
quiero, pero no me puedo cometer a tener una relacion
contigo. quiero pasar tiempo contigo como hasta ahora,
darte amor, cari帽o...'; and at that moment i felt like i
had been dropped into cold water.
she basically told me that althought she wanted to keep
sepending time with me, and giving me her love according
to her. that she did not want a serious relationship.
jaja.
i dont know why that bugs me so much.
she was holding me in her arms, and i looked at the clock
after a few seconds of silence and said, ';ya es tarde, y
ma帽ana trabajo, creo k ya me debes llevar a mi casa.'; and
she pulled her arms around me tighter.
';no, norita, no, por favor, por dios, no hagas eso. que
hice? que dije?'; she said to me, i turned and looked at
her...and then turned my back to her.
';me gustas mucho, mucho mas de lo que pense y se que
aunque ahora estamos bien, que luego me vas a gustar mas,
i can see myself getting really attached to you, y despues
no me voy a conformar con esto. Y eso me va hacer da帽o, y
yo ya no estoy para sufrir.'; i told her, her arms were
still tight around me.
';entonces, que? entonces nada?'; she said to me.
';entonces no, nada.'; i said, beginning to get up but she
would not let me go, she pulled me close against her, and
i felt her breathing heavily against my neck. for a moment
i thought she would cry.
'; no norita, no lo hagas, porque' yo no voy a cambiar
contigo, yo solo quiero darte mi amor, mi cari帽o y estar
cerca de ti.'; she said. but i shook my head.
';no, no puedo aceptar lo k me ofreces.'; i said. she pulled
me closer.
';pero porque, que tiene de malo lo que te ofresco?'; she
pleaded with me, but once again i tried getting up, she
wouldnt let go. we stayed like that or quite a bit, she
trying to convince me, and i trying to stay strong.
eventually i got up, got dressed, she did too and she
began to drive me home.
but the entire way she spoke about how it would be really
hard for us to have anything else, about how i was making
a dumb choice! about how she hoped that i wouldn't regret
it. then when we got to my house she said ';te o voy a
preguntar una ultima vez, norita, estas segura? entonces
ya no nos vamos a ver?'; i felt a lump in my throat. i
really didnt want to stop seeingher. i enjoy every minute
i'm with her. so why am i letting sucha small detail get
to me?
i stayed quiet thinking about it.
';norita, te quiero.'; she said, sort of desperately and i
couldnt help it, before i knew it i was kissing her.
and now i find myself accepting what she offered, and
knowing that im going to go crazy unless im really
careful. im not going to ask her if she's seeing other
people. there's another girl that wants to invite me out,
and i was going to say no because i really like rosario,
but i might just go out fora f ew drinks with Mel.
because, after all, rosario and i are not in a
relationship, and the kind of relationship we do have is
not defined to me. it terrifies me, now i dont know if i
can be comfortable getting attached to her...
and honestly i do not want to hurt anymore. And no matter
how many times Rosario says she will not hurt me, i can't
find comfort in that...NOT A GOOD ENOUGH OFFER? (ROMANTIC ADVICE PLEASE)?
Im in exactly the same situation..Basically you have to accept what she has to offer or walk away...For me I enjoy the time I spend with ';my friend'; everything is perfect but we are not bf/gf. Hold back your feelings and keep living you life... go out with woman and when you find one that sparks your interest then move on...NOT A GOOD ENOUGH OFFER? (ROMANTIC ADVICE PLEASE)?
The issue as I see it is that you've compromised what you want for what she wants. I believe in flexibility, but I feel that this is one instance where flexibility is not a good thing. When a woman says, ';I like you but I don't want to be in a relationship'; I call out bullsh!t. She's really saying, ';I KNOW I don't want to be with you, but cuddling and making out is fun, the sex is good, so you can stay a while.'; DO NOT GET ATTACHED TO HER! If you get attached, she will detach and another guy will pop up and make her feel like she has you feeling and you leave with the poop end of the stick. You have to unattach yourself from her. Meet other women. Portray yourself as a man who knows what he wants and will find one who is on his same level. Easier said than done, I know, but it will preserve your sanity and perhaps get her to see you in a better light. Good Luck, hermano!
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