Guy advice (non romantic), can someone help me?

Last August I was dumped by my boyfriend (Adam) of 9 months. I moved back home and started talking to my best friend Jason a lot.


Jason had always liked me as more than a friend. from the time we were 12. He asked me out on a date. I gave him his first kiss then..


after that we hung out everyday. We played Halo 3 every time we were together. and we had fun. We always almost got to the point of dating, but I always held back (I always thought it was too early to move on).


well after about 3 weeks of just me and Jason, my ex Adam calls me up. We get talking and Adam tells me he wants to try again. I told Jason that and I also said he could move on..(worst mistake of my life!!) So anyway, I went to see Adam (turns out he just wanted one last fling-If you know what I mean)....that's a big ouch when you leave the one you were so close to, to try again with an ex...and it doesnt work out.





I went back to see Jason a little later on in the week. We were talking and I gave him a kiss..All he says is ';I probably shouldnt have done that';. And then he preceedes to tell me that he was getting close to another girl and he really liked her. I told him that I fell in love with him.





He told me he needed to think..so he wanted me to leave him alone for 2 weeks, so I did. I called him after 2 weeks, and then he said that he was dating the other girl.





After that, he never answered the phone when I called. He never replied to my texts, he never replied to my emails.








Well tonight I decided to text him (I had a new number and I figured he'd talk a little bit). I told him i missed him and that i thought he was mad at me. then i asked him if he was mad at me-he said ';idk';.


After that I wanted to know why he would be mad at me, but he didnt reply. I sent him 4 messages and didnt get a reply to any of them.


What should I do? Should I try calling him sometime? Should I just show up at his house? I just want to know what the hell is going on. It makes me sad because losing a good friend is worse than losing a boyfriend.Guy advice (non romantic), can someone help me?
what an asshole.





Alright, go to his house and confront him about it. BE NICE, but make sure he understands exactly how you feel about all of it. He does somewhat have a reason to be mad, because you took off on him to be with the *** who dumped you, then you came crawling back to him after you were dumped again and you expected him to be there waiting for you, after you told him to move on.





But you have a point too. He's being a real asshole. he has no right to act like he is. but anyway, if you two can't get this sorted out, forget him.Guy advice (non romantic), can someone help me?
Stop with the texting and just call him tomorrow and try and set up a lunch, a simple lunch. I am sorry for your situation though. But try and start off slow.
Your a skank, you can't shop for guys. Back and forth, I hope Jason does the right thing in his own heart.
Just give him some space. Guys are weird like that. lol





xoxo hope everything works out!!


Michelle
you used him and that hurts he is just trying to get over you maybe you should let him go.
he needs space!
u did a blunder .....give him space the guy is really good
Jason never stopped loving you and his love for you was unconditional,a most rare quality, Jason was the boy who got away as you said, worst mistake of my life. His feelings for you, a testament to the loving peron he is, found itself with another girl.
you really don't see why he would be upset? you used him and threw him away then tried to get him back after you saw that something possibly better than him wouldn't work. you can't use people then ditch them to get something better and expect them to be ok with it. you might say you didn't do that but you did. and if you think about it you will see. if you tell him that you're sorry about it maybe you can be friends but for him to ever take you as anything else would be foolish.
i would go to his house and set him straight get to know his ';girlfriend'; and see if she is just in it to make you jealous for going to try again with your ex and leaving jason. its all in the mind of some of those girls. mess with her head a little bit and get some truth out of her
he is still answering texts, though. so some cudos there. tailor your text forwarding to things you know he'd like rather than all. be a friend again, not another contact.


if he is still seeing the other girl she may be jealous. so he's put you at a safe distance (seven months), for himself and your friendship.


friendships are important so be patient. love is complicated so be very patient.
That's hard.


Yeh I agree with the others, he feels second best hun.


I suggest seeing him and saying ';I miss being your friend and I'm sorry for what I did. If you don't want to be friends it'll be a real loss'; and if it doesn't work out, you've just got to learn and move on. There's no such thing as time travel (...yet) so just experience and move on. Adam's a cock for that! Anyway, make new friends. Join clubs, join a sport, join a class. Because one thing I've noticed is people come and go. The true friends will stick it out with you no matter what, or always come back to you. And if they don't, they were only there to influence you in some way.
leave him alone. if you really care, let him get over you. you blew it. had a nice guy, threw away a friend for a jerk. learn from your mistake and treat the next nice guy better.
He was interested in you and you turned him down. During that time of friendship, he probably harbored hopes you would get back together. I've been there. By going back to your ex, you hurt him, whether you realize that or not. Texting him will do no good. He is trying his best to move on, because he had really liked you and probably feels a bit used. He just needs to move on. Going to his house will make him angrier, and so would calling him. You need to let him go, please just trust me
This might be one of those times that you have to cut your loses. You played this guy Jason. He's in every right not to want anything further with you. You treated him like a yoyo. Not cool. The guy is moving on from you. It's a shame that you learned you cared for him too late, but hopefully you'll learn from this. You need to be honest with yourself. It seems like the only reason you cared about Jason was because you knew he was a reliable standby, so reliable that you thought you could test Adam out for a second try. If you had really cared about Jason then you never would have done that. No one made you. You owed Adam nothing else. You made your decision. Move on from it and learn from it.
Well, you lead him on... and then you went back to your ex, which jason probably predicted he was going to do what he did. Use you.





So now you realize what you should have realized a while ago, but you didn't and you want him back, now he's with another girl..





Damn, well my best advice to you is to give him some space, stop txting him, stop calling him. just back off a little, he might need some time to think. I mean you KNEW he liked you, yet you continued to mess with his emotions treating him like a tool and now that he has found someone who isnt going to lead him on then hurt him, you're jumping in the picture again. I know it's not what you want to hear, but if you really care about him, and you really love him, let him decide what he wants. It might hurt you, but if you had no intentions of liking him at first you shouldn't have kissed him.





if its meant to be it will happen. Just give him some space. You dont want to hurt him again.
OK,


Jason liked you


You liked someone else


You got dumped


You went %26amp; got involved with Jason on rebound


You dumped Jason for Ex sex


Jason finds other girl


You want Jason back


He won't talk to you





He may feel something for you, but doesn't want to do to his gf what you did to him. If they break up, give him time %26amp; see if he wants to get together. If not, chalk it up to experience, live your life %26amp; find someone else. Maybe you'll get to be friends with him %26amp; his gf, but as long as he's dating her, don't get your hopes up. Sometimes things happen %26amp; friends go their own ways.
You were looking for comfort for your broken heart and you pushed a little too hard with him. You need to give him space and time. You are just coming across as very needy to him - not appealing.





Just leave him alone and move forward with your life.
This situation is a complicated one. But just look at this situation in your friend, Jason's, perspective. He was willing to wait for you so you guys could be more then friends, but after you told him you were going after your ex he probably felt how you felt right now. What i mean by this is the situation completely flopped, first he wanted to be you but you're trying to get and Ex back but now you're trying to be with him but he has someone else. I think the best thing to do is try to talk to him face to face and explain things to him. But i wouldn't show up to his house randomly, just say ';Hey, i want to clear the air between us since we were so close friends, can we talk for a bit?'; Or something like that. If he is a really good friend as you say he is just keep trying to talk to him, but don't call him every single day just maybe once a week maybe.
Hun , technically no offence but I'd give him some space you must of really hurt him deep . Some people take longer to get over things , maybe you should write him a letter saying sorry and how you feel , but you can't expect him to date you when you already hurt him deeply trying to go back to a ex. just my point of view on it . If he doesn't reply to you after you write a letter or just telling how you feel in a message on his phone I'd move on if he doesn't reply you can't spend the rest of your days trying to get ahold of him if he's not going to talk to you back . I had something similar happen to me and friend of mind but over different issues and she was a chick, and she was the one holding a grudge after while I gave up trying to talk to her cause nothing worked so I gave her space she eventually finally talked to me and my other friend over 6 months.
It sounds like you need to give this guy some space. From what I've read, he may be feeling crowded, and that may be causing confusion. Usually, when us guys have a girl go after us like this, we tend to get uneasy and may push you away. Give him a little while longer, a month or two, and then drop him the casual call. If he doesn't pick up, leave a message saying you were just wondering how he was doing, and was hoping everything was going well with his relationship because he only deserves the best, etc. Make him know that you only want him to be happy, and that you'd love to hang out some time to catch up. You guys should be good again soon after that.





Time is not the enemy in this case.
you meant more to him then just a friend (%26amp; you're well aware of that). he felt used %26amp; not good enough for you. you gave him the impression that maybe he actually had a shot at being with you, %26amp; making you happy ... only for you to run back to the ex that hurt you. put yourself in his shoes ... wouldn't you be hurt %26amp; angry?





if he's in a new relationship, let him be happy. all you're doing now is confusing him (which is making it far worse ... not just on him, but trying to ';win'; that friendship back). don't sit there %26amp; tell the poor guy you're in love with him if all you really want is his friendship back. you're better off leaving him be for a while. if he wants to be friends again, he'll let you know.





lesson learned, sweetie ... be smart next time around, %26amp; don't make the same mistake twice (as in don't diss an obviously good guy for an ex you should have know better about).
As in the lesson you learned with your ex..the best thing do most of the time is DO nothing ..


If he considers you a friend he will contact YOU. You really need to give him space and time..lots of time.


Realistically, sometimes we do not get friends or anyone back bc we don't own people per say. Things ,all things happen for a reason and one of the main reasons is to teach us and help us learn life lessons. Roll with that.


now you know what the truth is, what will you really do?


Time is the cure for most things such as these.


In Time he will prob get tired or break up with that one and be calling, texting, emailing you again..so get busy with your life and be busy even if he calls. not too bust to talk for only a minute, OK? The first and most important thing for your life is to have purpose and stay grounded in your ';work';. Things you like to do your job/interesting hobby's and interests, That makes you interesting and desirable to most people that are attracted to you and want to see/date you.


The second most important thing might be for you to always go with your female intuition and gut feelings, not your head and heart like you're trying to do in this situation. your head and heart will almost always be wrong ; your intuition and gut will most times be right and will never steer you wrong.


Good luck