A long story. Romantic feelings towards best friend of same sex, head not on straight, advice please?

I am a 24 year old girl with a boyfriend of seven years. Over the last two years I have become great friends with a girl that I worked with. Although we have nothing in common (she likes motorbikes and tennis and hates girly stuff, and I like music, make up and movies) we seem to click and whenever I needed someone to chat to at work I always went to her. When there was a work outing we always ended up being the last ones out drinking together in a club. She left our company a few months ago and I was devestated, but we promised to keep in contact, which we did. I started having sexual dreams about her about 6 mths ago. But recently we are getting closer and there is a little flirting happening. She also said (albeit lightheartedly) that if anything ever went wrong with her husband that she is giving up on men and is going to be a lesbian. I said ';I'll be your girlfriend'; and she said ';Yeah? let's shake on it...'; What do I do? I wouldn't ask if I wasn't serious. Thanks for help. xA long story. Romantic feelings towards best friend of same sex, head not on straight, advice please?
Maybe you should do stuff together with your boyfriend like going on holiday, cinema etc. Spend more time with each other, but when you do and you still think of her then tell her how you feel, im sure she'll understand.A long story. Romantic feelings towards best friend of same sex, head not on straight, advice please?
She may not feel the same way. You could try talking openly about it to her but consider the consequences. Will she be understanding that it is a curiosity and may be nothing more than that?





Test the water before you dive in. Seek her opinion on the subject generally.
oh this is a toughy. If your feelings are serious and stronger then your boyfriends, try going for her.
If you didn't have a boyfriend, %26amp; she wasn't married, would you be with this woman? If the answer is ';no';, you most probably have nothing at all to worry about. But if the answer is ';yes';, you probably have to question your relationship with your boyfriend first. If you're having thoughts about being with someone else, maybe it's showing you that the relationship you're in isn't really working. If it was amazing and you were with ';The One';, then you wouldn't be contemplating someone else, and writing this question on here, would you?





I definitely think she likes you. If she is flirty with you and asked you to shake on being her girlfriend, it's as though she is letting you see she likes you but is keeping ';safe'; because she doesn't want to alarm you, probably. If she has a husband though, are you sure she's not completely straight and just OVERLY friendly and slightly flirty? You don't want to wreck a friendship over this. But I think by what you've said, there's definitely more than friendship going on between the two of you.





Does she sound happy with her husband, talk about him lots, is she planning children with him? If the answers to these questions are yes, then she's probably not even thinking about leaving him, and is just being playful with you. I think you need to look at your own relationship. If it's not working out, maybe you could end it and then see how this girl reacts. If she seems pleased and flirts with you even more (she might be holding back because you have a boyfriend and she doesn't want to come across as eager and she may even think you're totally straight) then you'll know there is definitely something there.





Good luck.
First off she is married and if she said lightheartedly that if anything went bad with her husband she'd become a lesbian, then I would take it she is still happily married. Perhaps she wants the husband and the girl on girl action on the side, that I can't tell you from your post, but it sounds to me you would end with a broken heart if you were just a little action to her.





You have been with your boyfriend for seven years - the famous year known as ';the Seven Year Itch'; perhaps you are looking for something different, maybe you're bored with your boyfriend. Maybe you are coming to terms with your own lesbian or bi nature. Only you can know these things. Really sit down and try and think if you want to continue with your boyfriend, if you want a woman in your life, or maybe none of the above even.





Just remember your friend is off limits. Maybe you are reading her signals all wrong. If you want to explore your lesbian side, go for it, with another woman.
First off, let me say that I understand how you feel. I am close to your age, and my thoughts and feelings have long been confused. You asked ';what do I do?'; I ask ';What do you want?'; You definitely have a connection with this girl -- but its hard to tell the nature of this connection. I believe there is what is known as ';companionate'; love and ';romantic'; love, and that they don't always overlap. I am assuming that you do have sexual and passionate feelings for her? You mentioned dreams, but dreams don't necessarily indicate a true desire. Do you feel as if you cannot deal with her just being your friend? A great friend is as beloved, in my opinion, as a romantic partner. It's just a different form of loving. For instance, I realized that the feelings I had for my female crushes where the kind that you get from being outside on a nice day, whereas the feelings I had for the male crushes were that ';sun and moon'; feeling. That sounds kinda weird, but hopefully the analogy makes sense....





I'm not trying to discourage you from her -- just saying to be sure of what you want beforehand, because a friendship is a terrible thing to have go bad over a failed romance. Also, she is married and you are in a serious relationship... Would this situation make you uncomfortable if it were a married man you felt an inclination for? It's hard to read the signs without actually seeing the two of you together, but the ';lesbian jokes'; could very well just be jokes. Many of my friends make these kind of comments all the time, and, as far as I know, I'm the only one who has even questioned (although its a secret, so could be more of them). I think a women do tend to be ';into'; each other, but not to a point where they feel driven to act on it. Do you feel that you need to do so, or are the strong feelings just making you anxious?





If you do feel like you truly are meant to be with her as a romantic couple, perhaps you need to talk to her. But I would wait a bit into rekindling your friendship, as the various circumstances make it a tricky thing at this point in time.